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CEMETARY POLKA TOM WAITS Bm G Bm G Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon Bm G F# Independent as a hog on ice Bm G Bm G He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse Bm G F# Bm Plays accordion for Mister Weiss Em C Em C Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William Em C B Made a million during World War II Em C Em C But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates Em C B Em And they'll never give a dime to you Auntie Mame has gone insane She lives in the doorway of an old hotel And the radio is playing opera All she ever says is go to Hell Uncle Violet flew as pilot And there ain't no pretty girls in France Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint They say he never keeps it in his pants Uncle Bill will never leave a will And the tumour is as big as an egg Has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican And I heard she has a wooden leg Uncle Phil can't live without his pills He has emphysema and he's almost blind And we must find out where the money is Get it now before he loses his mind Uncle Vernon, Uncle Vernon Independent as a hog on ice He's a big-shot down there at the slaughterhouse He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss ***************************************************************************************** The above is solely MY INTERPRETATION of this great song, in a format aimed at learning guitarists. No attempt has been made to copy or reproduce the artist's or publisher's sheet music for the song, if such exists. It can be used for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. To play the song as it should be played, you should purchase the official sheetmusic for the song. You should also purchase and listen to the song to learn the rhythm and timing of the song - this is essential if you wish to play the song with any degree of accuracy *****************************************************************************************